Saturday, July 21, 2012

Restoration -- In Troubled Times, Seek the Geese

(Photo:  Mama, Papa and their gaggle last night as I prepared to leave. )
 
Dark and troubling times over the past couple of weeks.
 
First, there was the roundup and massacre of at least 1200 gentle souls from New York City parks and a national wildlife refuge last week (though if one follows TV news or the New York Times, such shameful and violent event never occurred).
 
And then there was the shocking news over the past two days of 12 people gunned down in a Colorado movie theater and 58 others injured. 
 
The latter, due to its sheer horror and implications to humans has rightfully dominated the news in all media sources.
 
We wonder how such mayhem and violence occurs?
 
We say to ourselves when considering the suffering or death to human victims, "There, but for the grace of God go I or the ones I love."
 
Life can be so fragile and death so random and undeserved.
 
Like everyone else,  I was shocked and despaired to learn of human massacre that occurred in a public setting.
 
What propels one human being to want to wreak so much havoc, brutality and death to others?
 
It seems apparent that the perpetrators of such crimes do not see their victims as humans or individuals, but rather as objects that for whatever twisted, internal reason need to be destroyed.
 
Whatever rage or frustration churning inside, eventually seeks outlet and "expression" through violent means that result in great destruction of life.
 
What is truly frightening is that people suffering serious and dangerous mental disorder are able to walk into a store and purchase high powered weapons that can cause spectacular destruction within mere minutes.
 
One cannot know where and when such deranged personality can suddenly erupt. It could be a school, a work place, a shopping mall, a movie theater --  or even a public park. 
 
Anywhere, it seems there are people.
 
Watching some of this horror unfold last night, I felt very depressed and overwhelmed with the senselessness and tragedy of it all.  Lives lost and lives that will never be the same due to this one event and one very disturbed individual.
 
One has to wonder, how many more walking "time bombs" are actually out there?
 
This is tragically not the first time we have learned of such happenings and it surely won't be the last.
 
It was almost enough to make one not want to leave the "safe" confines of home last night.
 
But, eventually I pulled myself away from looking at  victims and accounts of a human train wreck and headed to Central Park with my two dogs in order to find "my" geese again and some sense of normalcy -- or something.
 
I felt strangely tired, depleted and enervated -- almost as if I had personally lost a daughter, son or lover in the carnage.
 
But, the unexpected coolness and crispness of a rainy summer evening.in New York City had a strange way of restoring some spark of energy.
 
There were very few people in the park, reminding me of the quiet and solace of typical winter evenings.  A jogger here and there, but for the most part, the park seeming to slumber in peace, inactivity and restoration.
 
It was completely dark by the time I arrived to the Boat Lake.  I figured the geese would be hunkered down for the evening on the small island "home rock" in the water and a part of me questioned if I should disturb them at all or even let them know I am there?
 
But, selfish needs prevailed. 
 
As expected, from the Rambles, I could make out dark goose forms silhouetted against the bright Manhattan lights in the background.    The geese were quietly resting on their home rock.
 
But selfishly, I looked across the blackened lake, called out to them and clapped my hands.
 
And almost immediately, I could see two geese descending the rock and begin to swim across the lake in my direction.
 
I then moved to the other rock jutting out from the Rambles where typically the geese come to greet.  I secured my two dogs to a small fence where they sat down to relax and then moved further on the rock and sat down and waited.....
 
Sure enough, the two geese arrived and began to waddle on to the rock.
 
I could immediately recognize (by his limp), the lead goose was "Papa" followed closely behind by one of his grown sons.
 
Whether hungry or not, Papa is always the first goose to come and greet.
 
Papa's son immediately walked up and took some treat from my hand. But, Papa always cautious and seceding to his loved ones,  remained a couple of steps behind and nonchalantly scooped up a few stray sunflower seeds from the ground almost as if to placate me.
 
Within a few minutes, the rest of Papa's family (and gaggle) began to arrive. And as usual, Mama goose was tagging behind the rest in her slow, piddling way.  Mama came with two other geese who I am guessing to be the daughters of the family.
 
All in all, there were 8 geese last night.  Mama, Papa, their four grown kids and two of the three unrelated "siblings" who have stayed with them through the molt.   I am not sure where goose #9 was last night.  But, there has always been one goose both this year and last who occasionally strays from the group.  It's possible #9 remained on the home rock or was wandering somewhere on the lake. A "rebel" so to speak in every gaggle.  Then again, over the summer, Mama goose has sometimes taken "break time" from the rest of the gaggle.
 
It seems in the goose world (like the human world) "family reunions" can sometimes get a bit tiring or stressful.
 
But, all of Papa's gaggle were quite relaxed last night, including Mama.  She confidently waddled up to me and gently scooped the offered sunflower seeds from my hand. Mama, like "Brad" (the Rouen duck at Harlem Meer) particularly loves black oiled sunflower seeds.
 
I am guessing Papa's family was particularly relaxed last night because Buster, Bonnie and their six goslings (i.e. "brats") were not around.  "The bad family" as I and another woman jokingly call them must have filled their bellies earlier and were probably resting further down on the lake.
 
It was really nice to once again, have some peaceful, uninterrupted time with Papa, Mama and their mostly peaceful clan. -- "The good family" so to speak.
 
Sitting on the rock with them last night even long after the sunflower seeds were gone, was, for me a kind of restoration.
 
Slowly, I could feel a sense of energy, optimism and joy returning to my body and spirit as the troubles and strife of the outside world melted away to nothingness.
 
I don't know if the geese somehow "sensed" I needed them last night or whether they were simply content to hang out on the rock with me as if I was a member of the family.  But the experience was incredibly uplifting.
 
Though the Rambles can be dark, quiet and a bit spooky at night, I personally felt very safe and protected by both two dogs and a gaggle of eight geese standing on "sentry." 
 
Jack the Ripper could show up and I believe I would be well protected from any possible harm.
 
I have no idea exactly how long we were all together, but eventually I picked myself up reluctantly to leave.
 
It occurred to me that if I ever find myself without a home, I would always have one with Papa and Mama whether or not the rest of the family was around during the molt. (Of course, I am not sure how Central Park would feel about that, but that is another matter.)
 
It is a very comfortable feeling.
 
As I scooped my two dogs to leave, I waved and said "goodnight" to Papa, Mama and the clan.   I could swear they all looked back to me and in their silent way, bade the same.
 
I imagine that some time after I left, they too, returned to their home rock as their "work" was done for the night.
 
Walking home by way of the Reservoir, I surprisingly saw the two gaggles of geese who have stayed there through the molt.
 
Rather than playing "hide and seek" last night, (as they usually do)  they too, swam over to greet me and quietly chill for a while.
 
Call me crazy or delusional, but I honestly believe that geese have some inner instinctual way of sensing when we humans are troubled over something and "need" them. 
 
They seem to bring with them some magical spirits for restoring a sense of peace and balance. --- Just like they did on the night of 9-11 so many years ago.
 
I finally arrived home with my dogs just in time to catch the 11 PM news which of course was replete with all the horrors, questions and tragedy of the recent human massacre.
 
But, I also thought of the other massacre occurring last week that garnered virtually no media reporting or acknowledgement.
 
What do we really kill when annihilating souls so gentle and restoring of all that is good in the world?
 
Odd and ironic to have so much brutality and violence on the heels of one another over the span of less than a couple of weeks.
 
I could only be grateful that at least in my little world, beauty, kindness and spiritual restoration still remain and still prevail.   -- PCA
 
 
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