Friday, June 17, 2016

Fly On The Wall


"I will make you offers you can't refuse," said Hillary Clinton to Bernie Sanders.
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"Lifetime free membership in the Billionaire's Health Spa, free Vermont maple syrup for life and free Ben and Jerry's ice cream for both, you and Jane for life. That is more than fair." 
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"Bah Humbug!" scowled Bernie. "Those are mere crumbs! What about my 1800 delegates? My berniebros and my revolution? They will settle for nothing less than my being President!"
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Hillary thought for a moment. After some deliberation, she finally countered, "Well, Bernie, I have this: Your own 'Weekends with Bernie' reality show!  You'll get to play the President, stomping around the country and holding rallies. There will be plenty of walk-on roles for your bots from yelling obscenities about me to breaking up banks with hammers to burning down the Wall Street bull. Jane can bake cookies."
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"Nah, that still ain't enough!" Bernie yelled, waving his finger in Hillary's face. "I want something YUGE!  Something befitting my revolution!"
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Hillary thought some more. Bernie was being difficult.
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Finally, putting both hands on the table, Hillary announced resolutely, "We can use footage from Woodstock to show the strength -- and sexiness of your movement!  Naked girls and young men running around with the message of free love. Free drugs. Hendricks playing the Star Spangled Banner and Santana belting out, Soul Sacrifice."
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Bernie considered Hillary's last and final offer which prompted fond memories of his hippie days in Vermont -- the hard times when he had to steal electricity from his landlord.
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"Okay, Madam Secretary. On one condition though..."
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"What is that, Bernie?"
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"Jane and I still want the free Ben and Jerry's ice cream for life."  -- PCA
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